1 in 8 women

When I had my first miscarriage, I kept it all inside not wanting to share it with anyone really. One reason was I miscarried at about 6 weeks so I didn’t think it counted. So silly of me to think that way. Second reason was I was doing IVF so I felt like I should be content that I didn’t lose both babies. Again my mind I tell ya. And another reason was I rarely heard it talked about so I was too nervous to share my story and let my voice be heard. My 1st miscarriage was painful and quick compared to my 2nd miscarriage which was long and drawn out. As if each week my body desperately tried to hold onto both babies I was carrying. I truly believe however far along a loss is a loss. But for the Mamas who have lost their babies being farther along or even a gut wrenching still birth at full term that’s where my heart shatters. So I felt like with both of my miscarriages I should just be quieter about it. But obviously my losses were still so hard for me. You see I did my egg retrieval August 2015. They retrieved 11 eggs and after they did their ivf magic we went from 11 babies to just 4. So August 2015 I instantly fell in love and couldn’t wait to meet 4 babies someday. November 2015, I miscarried one of two babies. I was only 6 weeks along but had spent 3 months already loving them. My 2nd miscarriage was December 2017 but again I had spent over 2 years loving and longing to meet that baby. It felt like so much extra pain. I shared this before but one of the sweetest people in my life sent me a package when I had announced that my 2nd baby I was carrying was a girl. I remember opening up the gift to see a rainbow onesie and a rainbow headband. I’m telling you that simple and beyond kind gesture opened the door to my emotions. It allowed me to heal. It made me feel like someone on the outside was acknowledging my pain and loss. It brought such healing to my journey. It also made me want to be more open and passionate about sharing my IVF journey. To others struggling with infertility or loss, you’re not alone. Im holding your hand and thinking of you.And one more thing, if you aren’t one to share about your loss that’s okay! Just always know you’re not alone❤️